3-Headed Shark Attack
"I've never heard of a giant three-headed shark either, but I guess all bets are off at this point."
release year: 2015
genre: shark horror/action/comedy
viewing setting: home DVD, 8/28/21
synopsis: An underwater research base and its occupants are menaced by a three-headed shark.
impressions: At least this time, they made an effort to explain why the shark mutated (hint: it's human pollution.) Aside from the continuation of the variable-depth and variable-shark-size problems, this one had a lot going for it: multiple triple attacks where the three heads each ate a victim at the same time, two pairs of breasts adorning some of the shark food, a big underwater research base, an impressive shark leap into the air, including a flip, the shark attacking the base, the giant shark somehow getting one head up a toilet to eat someone sitting there, another sinking atoll/island, an abundance of footage of the ocean bottom...and the shark swimming...and people swimming, lack of sufficient wet t-shirts given the number of people who fell into the water, the only boat in radio range being captained by Danny Trejo!, the shark devouring pollution, the shark's heads snapping at one another, party people just lying around with random bloody wounds, a guy hitting the shark with an axe and then hanging on for some surfing, the main girl randomly and suddenly wearing only her bikini, Danny Trejo's crew having a locker full of machine guns, Danny Trejo taking on the shark with a machete, the shark playing dead for a bit while REGENERATING ITS SEVERED HEAD WITH THREE NEW HEADS, the shark suddenly gaining the ability to move around on land, another insane and idiotic final plan to kill it, a pointless sacrifice, an incoherent ending.
confirmed shark kills: 29
acting: Karrueche Tran is the cute female lead, basically the one student who keeps her wits about her in a witless situation. Danny Trejo is, well, himself. Former wrestler Rob Van Dam is some guy from the party boat who stands around looking worried a lot, then suddenly starts helping as needed.
final word: Another good, entertaining bad entry in perhaps the greatest shark franchise since Sharknado.
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