5-Headed Shark Attack

"Does this thing really have four heads?"
"Yeah."
"I guess it'll be four times the fun, then."

release year: 2017
genre: shark horror/action/comedy
viewing setting: home DVD, 8/30/21

synopsis: I doubt this will come as any surprise, but yes...another multi-headed shark is wreaking havoc.

impressions: For some reason, this one didn't seem as fun as the last couple. There were some questionable choices by the filmmakers, a prominent one being the placement of the fifth head ON THE SHARK'S TAIL. Aside from the question of how, this also led to that new head not getting as much action - to the point where we were actively rooting for it, and even named it "Mike." Poor Mike didn't even get a morsel to eat until the 1:01 mark. Other notable aspects: an environmental message, some boat captain's sea story, a guy barfing for no reason after hearing the sea story, a second/normal/decoy shark, depth charges, automatic weapons just happening to be handy on the fishing boat, a shark leaping out of the water to take down a helicopter, yet another insane final plan. We noted that there was virtually zero plot development in the last half-hour; they were just sitting in the boat thinking of new things to try, and it dragged.

confirmed shark kills: 14 humans, 1 whale, 1 great white shark

acting: This movie inexplicably had a number of lesser and/or merged versions of bigger-name actors. One guy looked like a mix of George Clooney, Marc Singer, and Jason Statham. The professor lady looked like Sandra Bullock. One of her students looked like a mix of Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson. Another student looked like a mix of Mario Lopez and Keanu Reeves. Is is possible that someone is stealing these stars' DNA, going back in time, and creating knockoff humans? That's about as plausible as the main plot of this movie.

final word: Entertaining, but sillier than the previous ones. They really need to dig deep to raise the bar for "6-Headed Shark Attack."

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