7 Mummies

release year: 2005
genre: horror/action/western
viewing setting: home DVD, 8/5/06

synopsis: A group of escaped prisoners and a hostage end up in a small town in the middle of nowhere, looking for some gold and fighting some undead.

impressions: This one didn't even start off strong; the rap music playing as the prisoners marched off into the desert should have been a warning sign. This was one of those movies that tried to be cool by using weird camera work and random bursts of rap or metal music. On three different occasions, someone just started laughing - a deep, repeated laugh - for no reason. Also, some of the characters were just plain stupid - rather than wondering why they had come upon a town straight out of the old west, they instead proceeded to drink and party. Another big problem: complete lack of definition about the undead. Were they vampires? Or mummies? Or normal people? It was difficult to tell at any given point. There was also a lot of "now it's night, now it's day" inconsistency, and this really came into play at the end during a pointless horse vs motorcycle chase. Also, there were scenes where the monsters were fighting the good guys, and then the good guys would just run away, and the fight/chase was over. This is just stupid. The whole thing was just stupid.

something this movie has that no other movie has: mummies that fight as if they were in a Hong Kong martial-arts film (come to think of it, several of the good guys suddenly gained this fighting style as well)

acting: Billy Wirth (as the "good" convict) and Cerina Vincent (as tank-topped eye candy) managed not to say or do anything really stupid; the rest were mediocre at best. Billy Drago was exceptionally weird as a preaching gunman; he started babbling complete nonsense on multiple occasions.

final word: This was a failed attempt at a From Dusk Till Dawn imitation.

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