Alien Shark


"People have been beusing very strangely around here today. I think something is wrong."    - Alicia


release year: 2022
genre: sci-fi/horror
viewing setting: home DVD 7/30/22

synopsis: The world's dumbest group of friends plans the world's lamest beach house vacation, where they encounter the world's most nonsensical alien invasion.

impressions: It actually started out okay...but then lapsed into stupidity. The basic problem was that little if anything was explained. There were hints, but not enough spelled out. Among other elements, this movie contained: a dim-witted guy who listens to the voice from his walkie-talkie, which says strange things...random shots of spaceships flying around or firing beams down to Earth...possibly two alien races...alien possession which consists of peoples' eyes flashing green before they either wander away or start attacking others...almost every character having multiple tattoos...a crystal ritual that somehow summons the alien shark...random/pointless/meaningless deaths...a lack of actual shark attack action...a shark landing on shore and barfing up a little dog-shark (yes, really)...the people not thinking there's anything at all strange about a dog with the head of a shark...or ever bringing it up again...a shark floating in the air...the dim-witted guy getting beamed up later...plentiful CGI...then some scenes where the CGI shark was clearly not yet added as it fought the girl. By the end, this film had descended into total incoherence. (To be honest, I saw things heading that way before the half-hour mark.)

body count: 10, most of them confirmed, all of them devoid of detail or blood

acting: Brittany Altenbach is the lead heroine, and does by far the best job of any of the actors in this thing. Lukas Silva is the main guy, and also does a decent job. All the rest are stereotypes at best, or else annoying at worst.

final word: This was not worth the $9.99 I paid at Walmart, and I should have known when I could find no reviews on IMDB. There's a second movie (Mysterious Island) included, which I sort of hate to watch but which may also make the $9.99 I spent less painful of a purchase...we will see.

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