Diamonds Are Forever

release year: 1971
genre: James Bond
viewing setting: home Bluray 1/16/19 and 12/14/12 and home laserdisc 12/5/99

synopsis: Bond is assigned to solve a diamond smuggling case that has greater scope than first apparent.

impressions: This was Connery's last and weakest official Bond movie. It had a number of problems: weak female lead, bad acting, dumb characters, poorly-done chase scenes, often-senseless plot, villains not killing Bond when they had the chance, idiotic fight scenes...if this wasn't a Bond movie, I'd probably never have watched it more than once. Points of interest: good opening revenge-on-Blofeld scene, goofy evil henchmen, good fistfight in elevator, car going up onto two wheels during a chase scene, Q casually winning at the slot machines, first appearance of Blofeld duplicates, evil gymnastic henchwomen Bambi and Thumper who were beating the crap out of Bond one minute and then suddenly just stopped trying, orbiting laser platform, funny signs posted within oil rig.

acting: Sean Connery looked and acted older and more laid-back than in the previous five of these he did. Charles Gray (who played a different character two films ago) made a decent Blofeld. Jill St. John was weak Bond girl Tiffany Case (I should note that her character started off strong but lost momentum - and brainpower - along the way.) The assassins Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd were over-the-top and irritated me.

chase scenes: 1 moon buggy-in-desert chase, 1 car chase through Las Vegas

mass fight at end: helicopters vs oil rig

neat gadgets: grappling gun, sea bubble

confirmed Bond kills: 7

confirmed Bond seductions: 1 (almost two)

obnoxious female names: Tiffany Case, Plenty O'Toole

defining Bond moments: 

Bond: "Weren't you a blond when I came in?"
Tiffany Case: "Maybe."
Bond: "I tend to notice little things like that."

Bond: "That's quite a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. I approve."

Tiffany Case: "I'll finish dressing."
Bond: "Oh, please don't. Not on my account."

Tiffany Case: "Is he dead?"
Bond: "I sincerely hope so."

girl: "Hi. I'm Plenty."
Bond: "Of course you are."
girl: "Plenty O'Toole."
Bond: "Named after your father, perhaps?"

Bond: (after evil henchman throws girl out of 10th floor window, into pool below) "Exceptionally fine shot."

Tiffany Case: "Why are we suddenly staying in the bridal suite?"
Bond: "In order to form a more perfect union."

Tiffany Case: (to Felix) "I'm co-operating. Really I am."
Bond: "Well, I can vouch for that."

Bond: (shows up to the oil rig in a plastic bubble) "Good morning, gentlemen. The Acme pollution inspection. We're cleaning up the world and we thought this was a suitable starting point."

Blofeld: (eyeing Tiffany Case in bikini) "What a pity...such nice cheeks too. Pity they aren't brains."

final word: Connery's weakest Bond film, as well as one of the weakest overall; only needs to be watched once unless you're obsessed with Connery and/or Bond.

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