Children of the Corn 666: Isaac's Return
"You're insane. You're all insane!" - Hannah
release year: 1999
genre: horror
viewing setting: home DVD, 6/6/22
synopsis: A girl returns to the corny town of Gatlin to figure out her past.
impressions: Oh man, was this bad. I think they had a good basic idea - the main evil kid from the very first movie returns as an adult - but most pieces of the execution were not done well. Examples: slow motion camera work, no deaths until the 41-minute mark, an electrocution that defied the laws of electricity, a prophecy that only gets fulfilled because people know about it and push events as needed, stupid kids with hats who gloat while murder is being done, a rebellious evil kid who doesn't rebel far enough, an ending that made no sense and received no explanation. But the number-one problem: STUPID CHARACTER. This is perhaps best summarized by our heroine, who can't take a fucking hint and just leave. Among the signs and bad omens that she ignores are: multiple hallucinations, a car crash, a hostile police officer, a doctor who almost crushes her face in his hand, a crazy escaped mental patient who chases her, an unexplained body, some teenaged punks staring at her, a random kid wandering around with a machete, intruders in her hotel room (twice!), people who know her name when there's no real way that they could, a warning in blood, being run off the road...this stupid chick just didn't get it. Sometimes you have to know when to abandon your mission and just get the hell out of town.
body count: 8 confirmed
acting: Natalie Ramsey was the main girl. Nancy Allen looked sad to be in this as her mother. John Franklin - the kid from the original movie, who appears to be about 5'0" as an adult - may or may not be in charge of all evil this time. Stacy Keach is a weird doctor.
final word: This was the worst of the series so far...82 minutes of my life that I can never have back.
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