Escape From the Bronx


"You are ordered to leave the Bronx. The area has been declared uninhabitable and destined for demolition. Leave now, and leave peacefully. You have nothing to fear." - public service announcement


release year: 1983
genre: action/adventure
viewing setting: home Bluray 2/13/22

synopsis: An evil corporation wants to raze the Bronx and replace it with a modern metropolis. so they proceed to go street-to-street eliminating residents.

impressions: Oh boy. This sequel to the first movie was similar, and just as silly. For starters, there was no "escape" to be had. There was nowhere to go. It was more like a fight to the death...remnants of gangs and random residents versus an army of guys in silver suits wielding flamethrowers. This plot was meaningless, and my wife wisely chose to skip this one, leaving me to deal with it. Rather than write a paragraph or two, I've instead chosen to provide a rough timeline of the most entertaining (if not most meaningful) events in this film:

  • 0:01 - we see the remains of crashed astronauts (?!) including a female suit with glass bubbles in the breast area
  • 0:03 - the first victim of the silver-suited flamethrower force
  • 0:05 - Trash takes out an airborne helicopter with one shot from his pistol
  • 0:06 - Trash's parents have a big poster of their son on the wall
  • 0:09 - this looks like the same cave system from the first movie
  • 0:10 - the underground gangs display terrible fashion sense
  • 0:14 - finally, the first fight scene
  • 0:19 - it's the "Disinfestation Annihilation Squad" (led by Henry Silva!)
  • 0:26 - the infesters, err, residents fight back
  • 0:31 - some dude rigged with a bomb runs toward the bad guys and explodes, taking some of them out
  • 0:33 - the stupid reporter randomly meets up with Trash
  • 0:43 - the team is formed for the mission
  • 0:47 - red scarf and red backpack == not conducive to sneaking around in enemy territory
  • 0:50 - communications with teams "Sigma 2, Omega 6, Able 2"
  • 0:52 - the governor finally found a way to shut the stupid reporter up
  • 0:53 - everyone's shooting everyone
  • 0:59 - the president makes a break for it
  • 1:03 - funky music plays randomly during the rope descent
  • 1:10 - mission successful!
  • 1:12 - corporate backstabbing
  • 1:13 - they start pumping gas into the underground caverns
  • 1:15 - Trash has to dig himself out of rubble...for the second time
  • 1:18 - random guy runs for cover behind a broken wall, then runs right back out into the gunfight
  • 1:22 - a single long shotgun blast causes the Porsche to explode
  • 1:23 - Trash leaps down onto three soldiers and beats them all by swinging a helmet
  • 1:25 - Wrangler runs over random bodies on his way out, only to then have his van blown up by a single shot from a revolver fired from several hundred feet away
  • 1:27 - pan out from a street filled with bodies, as the movie mercifully ends

    acting: Mark Gregory (real name Marco Di Gregorio) returns as Trash, who now has no gang and just kind of wanders around shooting bad guys (and helicopters, and vans.) I'm not sure he ever missed with any shot he fired in this movie. Anyhow, he looks a bit older and a lot less muscular now (and somewhat resembles Paul Stanley of KISS) and he also learned how to walk normally for this one. Antonio Sabato is the leader of the various people who are hiding underground, and plays his role with great zeal. Henry Silva is the head bad guy who thinks all Bronx residents are vermin, and really hams it up with his bad lines and sinister actions. Enio Girolami plays the corporate president, who looks a lot like Ted Turner. Valeria D'Obici is a nosy reporter lady with a really annoying New York accent. Giancarlo Prete is an underground dweller who proves to be of great help. Alessandro Prete is his son, who is really good at making bombs and traps. Paolo Marco is the corporate vice-president, who inexplicably visits the battle zone - multiple times - in his bright red Porsche.

    final word: More of the same.

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