Godzilla: Final Wars
fairies: "There is something we must tell you. 12,000 years ago, Gigan came, destroyed everything. Mothra fought to stop it. It says so on the wall. Gigan is evil.""
release year: 2004
genre: Godzilla
viewing setting: home Bluray, 8/31/19
synopsis: Aliens come to Earth to cause destruction, and once again, Godzilla's the only way to stop them.
impressions: This was the sixth entry in the Millennium era of Godzilla movies, and the 29th Godzilla movie overall. It marked the 50th anniversary of Godzilla and was meant to be the last one, so they worked in elements from many past movies (including monsters we hadn't seen since 1975, and many actors from different eras of these movies) and other non-Godzilla movies. They also set out to have a lot of battles. For the most part, all of that worked; the movie was entertaining and fairly fun. This one was over two hours long - probably a record for any of the Toho Godzilla movies - so let's get to it. Elements worth mentioning include: a cool streamlined-looking Godzilla...a flying battleship called Gotenga...decades ago, Godzilla falls into an earthquake and is buried...the Earth Defense Force and its ninja-move-practicing mutants..."a new human race with superb physical ability"...the battleship's tough and gruff captain is former UFC great Don Frye...the phaser (!) froze Manda, allowing the battleship to shatter it...the captain got in trouble for his aggressive tactics...lots of martial arts fighting (humans and monsters)...they've found a mummified monster...the new Mothra fairies have short haircuts...and a story to tell, about Gigan and events 12,000 years ago...Rodan shows up in New York...and other monsters visit other cities...even the 1998 Godzilla makes an appearance...the destruction in cities is set to rousing background music...and there's some CGI...random kid playing with his monster toys as he watches TV: "Cool. It's a real Anguirus."...lots of humorous bits in this one...there are other flying battleships...we see Anguirus' rolling ball attack...that "oh, no, not again" moment...the kid unfortunately keeps his grandpa from shooting Minilla...a Kamacura attacks one of the battleships...a small team of mutants goes out on foot to stop Ebirah!...which involves an inordinate amount of somersaulting...and loud thrash music...all the monsters are being taken away...someone call Liam Neeson...the aliens have a Death Star...the UN Secretary-General is back! (suuuuuure)...the aliens (who call themselves "Xilians") look goofy.
At this point (about a fourth of the way through the movie) I decided to stop taking notes, and started taking pictures instead. This allowed me to enjoy the movie a little more, as well as provide dozens of pictures to entertain you as you read this review. Here we go: behold, the UN Secretary-General (played by the same guy who was the main hero in the very first Godzilla movie!)...and the Defense Force Commander...witness the mass outpouring of support for the alienson the part of the general populace...a really funny segment with a variety of people sitting around a table debating the aliens...the main heroes find that the guy's blood means he's not human...only one man can help them fight the aliens...little dog unwittingly used to figure out who's alien...the true form of the aliens, revealed!...the young alien punk has taken over...Gigan!...Gigan goes to work...the Statue of Liberty has seen better days...the alien commander is awfully snarky...a very odd scene with these two clowns guarding the frozen Godzilla...Godzilla deftly catches Gigan's cable-hook attack...Gigan gets decapitated by Godzilla's breath...and the young punk alien leader reacts appropriately...the battleship lures Godzilla toward the action, as he churns his way through the ocean...the first thing Godzilla does is take care of Zilla aka Godzilla 1998...leading directly to another funny reaction from the young punk alien leader...Godzilla experiences the web of Kumonga...and quickly figures out how to use that web against its creator...eventually, Kumonga is hurled away...resulting in yet another reaction from the young punk alien leader...Kamacura gets impaled on a power tower...meanwhile, some pals are just wandering around...they're just one big happy family...a rare shot of all four combatants in one scene...Godzilla tricks Rodan and King Caesar into colliding with each other...Anguirus' flying ball attack...he almost clips Rodan...and gets swatted away by Godzilla...and now all three defeated enemies are piled up...after which Godzilla stands triumphant!...Minilla has a sudden growth spurt...the flying battleship moves to attach the alien Death Star type ship...which releases its TIE fighters, err, defending ships...the angry mutant takes a ship on a suidice mission...
to blow up the Death Star's shield generator...and succeeds...allowing the flying battleship to actually drill into the Death Star's side...and break through into its inner chamber...meanwhile, the Mothra fairy twins summon Mothra...and yet elsewhere, Hedorah and Ebirah fight for some unknown reason...the outcome of which makes the young punk alien mad again...Godzilla gets ready to launch a breath attack into space...which results in a gigantic explosion and great devastation...and then Monster X shows up...as does a resurrected Gigan with chainsaws for hands...the alien leader uses his Sith electrical powers on the good guy mutant...the new Gigan has compartments in his chest that fire small disc-saws...but he's not smart enough to get out of the way when they return like boomerangs...which results in decapitation...and then explosion...the good-guy mutant uses the force to stop the laser beams...the young punk alien leader goes up in flames...and then the aliens' Death Star explodes...the true identity of Monster X is revealed...Ozaki uses his new superpowers to blast King Ghidorah...and Godzilla rips one of its heads off...and then grabs it by the tail and slings it around...resulting in its destruction and then a roar of triumph...the kid stops his grandfather from shooting Godzilla although that wouldn't have had any effect...another look at the determined kid...then Minilla does the same thing to Godzilla despite looking like a pale Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle...Minilla shows that he too can breathe destruction...father and son walk into the ocean toward the setting sun...and one last roar of triumph.
number in Godzilla series: 29
previous Godzilla movie in series: Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S.
next Godzilla movie in series: Godzilla (2014)
other giant monsters appearing in this one: Manda, Mothra, Minilla (none of whom Godzilla fights) + Gigan (two versions), Zilla, aka Godzilla 98, Kumonga, Kamacura, Rodan, Anguirus, King Caesar, Hedorah, Ebirah, Monster X aka King Ghidorah (all of those are fought by Godzilla)
total giant monster battle time: about 23 minutes (all of which is set to rousing Mortal-Kombat-like music)
acting: Main characters: Ozaki, mutant pilot/gunner/fighter whose powers are even greater than he knows...Kazama, other mutant and general asshole (played by Kane Kosugi, son of famous ninja-actor father Sho Kosugi)...Miyuki, biologist with model looks...the UN Secretary-General (played by Akira Takarada, star of the original Godzilla movie who was also in four more...the Defense Force Commander (played by Kumi Mizuno, who was the alien agent in Invasion of Astro-Monster and had other roles in a couple more)...a role I'm not sure of, but that was played by Kenji Sahara, who had various roles in 12 other Godzilla movies!)..."X", the young punk alien leader, who takes what he wants and throws incredibly entertaining temper tantrums when his plans fail.
final word: Homage-filled, action-packed 50th anniversary bonanza!
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