release year: 1982
genre: horror
viewing setting: home VHS, 5/22/00
what I expected: scary movie cheese
what I got: mediocre horror movie

synopsis: Five teenagers who do little but argue all the time screw up and get shipwrecked on an island where something big and hungry stalks them.

impressions: Blah. Stupid characters, by and large. The only reason that the kids got stuck at all was because four of them let the fifth get away with increasing levels of stupidity until he finally crashed the boat into a reef. Me, I would have cold-cocked the motherfucker and thrown his ass overboard. Anyway...I know what you want to hear about. The "monster" was nothing more than a big, deformed man who ran around at night and grunted a lot and smashed things. This movie had some suspenseful bits and scares (and even a good backstory) but it was TOO DAMN DARK most of the time - big no-no! When you can't see what's going on, you can't enjoy a movie!

acting: Nothing special. If I were you, I'd focus on the breasts and legs of the lead female protagonist.

final word: average horror movie, at best

rating: C-

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