Ice Spiders


release year: 2007
genre: horror
viewing setting: home cable TV, 11/28/09

synopsis: Regular spiders + ancient DNA + growth hormone = giant spiders who thrive in the cold, which means that since the giant spider laboratory is in the cold, the things will escape and wreak havoc.

impressions: It was okay, though the acting was pretty bad. There was a "Bill and Ted" type character, and an evil head scientist, and some military guys who blindly followed orders a little too much. There was also that staple of bad movies: someone's escaped, free and clear, all they have to do is drive...so what do they do? They SPEED and end up crashing. Also notable: if these spiders aren't bothered by cold, then why does a fire extinguisher stun them? And why don't people take advantage of such chances to KILL the spiders? Aaaargh.

something this movie has that no other movie has: A giant spider killed by the horns of a mounted deer head.

acting: Patrick Muldoon (the jerk pilot from Starship Troopers) is the main ranger guy here. Vanessa Williams (no, not that one) is a scientist. Even Stephen Cannell (creator of The A-Team and many other great shows from the 1980s) has a minor role.

final word: Entertaining but bad monster cheese.

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