release year: 2011
genre: fantasy/action
viewing setting: home Bluray, 1/20/13

synopsis: A ruthless tyrant crushes all in his path as he seeks to release the titans as revenge on the gods.

impressions: I wanted to like this movie. I really did. Based on the previews, this was the sort of thing I love to watch...violence, war, monsters. But it turned out to be a convoluted, often senseless mess that had some good battle scenes and not much else. Example #1: the evil warlord Hyperion mutilates and kills people (including his loyal followers) for absolutely no reason. Example #2: The magic bow that Hyperion seeks so he can free the accidentally found by Theseus right in his own village! Example #3: Knowing that if Hyperion gets the magic bow, the world will basically end...Theseus blunders into a small group of bad guys and has the bow taken from him, rather easily. Example #4: The titans, when imprisoned, number about fifteen; once freed, at least fifty are running around. All in all, this felt like something that had been intended to be epic, but the script/plot had a few shortcuts along the way, resulting in a big-budget, good-looking movie that made no sense at times.

something this movie has that no other movie has: Castration by gigantic hammer. I really could have lived another fifty years without seeing that.

acting: Henry Cavill is the main hero, Theseus, although when he's covered with blood and dirt it's hard to tell him apart from any of the other warriors. Stephen Dorff is a thief who joins his cause. Mickey Rourke is the vicious evil general. Freida Pinto is the cute little oracle who joins Theseus' group and eventually falls for him. John Hurt is a wise old man who's more than he seems.

final word: A very hollow would-be fantasy epic.

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