Machete Kills

"Get the f*** off that man! He just saved the world's ass!" - the President

release year: 2013
genre: exploitation-style action
viewing setting: home Bluray 2/16/23 and 8/19/17 and 6/20/15 and 2/13/14 and theater 10/12/13

synopsis: Super bad-ass Machete is recruited by the President to stop a madman in Mexico, but not all is as it appears.

impressions: This was the most over-the-top movie of 2013, if not the decade. The stunts Machete pulls off are sometimes reminiscent of James Bond movies, as are the villains and scope of the evil plot. While it can't be taken too seriously, it is definitely entertaining. And there are a lot of little touches too, nods to various past movies of Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo; I'm sure I didn't even catch them all. An example of an obvious one: a car has the silver-skull gear shift knob from Death Proof. An example of an easy-to-miss one: a character is driving a car with a stuck CD teaching Spanish phrases, one of which is "How much for this woman?" after dozens of normal ones. One last thing: I have to say that some of the way in which people die in this movie have never graced the big screen before. Pulled into a helicopter's blades...shredded by a runaway motorboat's propellors...trust me, those are just the tip of the iceberg.

body count: Dozens...no, hundreds. And some of them are, as noted, rather creative.

acting: This movie is chock-full of people! Danny Trejo plays the same character as before, a quiet and ruthless fighter. Michelle Rodriguez is his nice-looking ally. Sofia Vergara is a crazy woman who runs a brothel full of assassins and wears undergarments that shoot bullets. Mel Gibson is an over-the-top billionaire arms-manufacturing bad guy. Demian Bichir invokes Tuco from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly as a Mexican warlord/revolutionary with split personalities. Amber Heard is a ditzy but deadly secret agent. Charlie Sheen is the no-nonsense President. Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jr, Antonio Banderas, and Walton Goggins play four faces of the same hitman. Tom Savini returns as a former bad guy from the first movie. Bill Sadler is a racist lawman.

final word: Insane, but fun.

back to the main review page