Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus
Hutchinson: "How will we know when they hatch?"
Nigel: "You will see little crocodiles...little 25 or 30 foot crocodiles, running around eating people."
release year: 2010
genre: giant monster horror/drama
viewing setting: home DVD, 8/19/21
synopsis: Not only is the mega shark still out there, but now there's a giant crocodile swimming around, laying eggs, and eating people; their paths cross.
impressions: This was another as-expected movie in this series (and this genre) - over-the-top characters, insane situations involving giant monsters, and plenty of CGI. Rather than address the plot in prose, I'll instead recap it with a list of THINGS YOU WILL SEE IN THIS FILM:
a giant shark hurling itself out of the ocean and over/into ships
a woman being flipped off of a crocodile's snout, into the air, and then into its mouth like popcorn
a guy getting snapped up by the croc and then mysteriously reappearing on the ground unharmed
random laying of giant croc eggs all over the place
a giant fin signalling impending collision with any ship in the area
the same control room set being re-used in different scenes
island kids who play with people washed up on the beach
a random island in the middle of the ocean...with a bar!
shark eggs
the two stars finally meet, at 47:00
inconsistent size of the croc (1500 feet?!?)
the shark eats a torpedo, then flies out of the water
some crazy science bullshit about an "arcflash"
the croc eating all of the Sea World attractions
more flying shark
mindless military bombing of everything
the two stars finally meet, at 1:07:00
secondary danger from baby crocs
the shark eating a submarine whole
slow motion action nonsense
a final plan that makes no sense
acting: Jaleel White is a military officer and scientist, who tries really hard to make insane technobabble sound legit. Gary Stretch is a Pierce Brosnan lookalike croc hunter and con man who gets pulled in to help. Sarah Lieving is the super-serious special agent who handles things for Robert Picardo, the admiral in charge of hunting the monsters.
final word: More of the same.
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