release year: 2002
viewing setting: home VHS, 2/28/03
synopsis: Everybody wants it, but nobody can seem to hold onto it for long: an 80-foot genetically-engineered snake.
impressions: This movie did a rare thing for me: it started out so badly that I was going to slam it, utterly...and then it got BETTER and I decided it was okay. The basic problems were threefold: 1) cheapness, 2) bad acting, 3) stupid snake stuff. I don't have to explain the first two to you, so here's more on the third: if it's a python, it should have crushed somebody - but it never did, not once. Also, it was pretty much bulletproof and grenadeproof and missileproof...you get the idea. There was also one annoying plot point wherein this 80-foot snake was hiding inside a container about the size of my dresser. Ugh. Having said all that, I found that the main good guy (the mover of heavy cargo) was likeable due to his quirky origin story, and his Russian wife was cute. Also, there was a pretty solid plot link to the first "Python" movie. Finally, there was plenty of gunplay and fighting. To sum it up, this movie wasn't nearly as bad as the first ten minutes made it look. Give it a chance.
acting: The lead good guy looked like a cheaper version of Bruce Campbell, but his acting actually got better as the movie progressed. The woman who played his wife was fairly convincing. Billy Zabka, who played the leader of the mercenaries, did the best job, rising above the material.
final word: Worth seeing once, but you have to give it a chance and get past the first fifteen minutes.
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