Shark Exorcist
release year: 2015
genre: shark cheese
viewing setting: home DVD, 9/1/21
synopsis: A bunch of random events surround a lake with a demon spirit in it. I think.
impressions: Before this, I had declared that Sharkenstein was the worst shark movie I'd ever seen. No more. It's this one. Despite a body count under ten, I wasn't even able to track that because there was no way to tell if some of those people had died...or even actually been bitten. There were puny wounds that were supposed to be fatal, and about a million other problems. You know what? Fuck it. I'm not even going to waste time listing them all. I really think that someone just filmed a bunch of footage at random places, and then tried to string it all together into a movie, but failed. This wanted to be The Exorcist...with sharks. And I guess it was, in the same way you can put a jigsaw puzzle together incorrectly and then see that nothing actually fits. The whole demon/possession angle wasn't explained and made no sense. The movie often jumped from what should have been a crucial scene...to something else entirely, with no explanation. So, did they do anything right? Well, this movie had, by far, the most photogenic actresses in any of these WildEye productions. One even resembled Denise Richards. There was also a bodybuilder chick, which was interesting until some random creeper wandered up and took pictures of her sunbathing while she was asleep. Relevance to the plot? Zero, but it took up several minutes of running time. That's what this movie is, a hodgepodge of scenes that don't all have relevance to the supposed plot. All in all, this one made Sharkenstein look good, and that's saying something.
acting: No.
final word: Absolutely incoherent bad shark movie - probably the worst I've ever seen.
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