Shark Swarm

"There's one more thing. A heavy dose of this, combined with a lack of fish, could inexorably alter the food chain, and trigger a hunting craze among these sharks...possibly multi-swarm."   - Professor Girdler

release year: 2008
genre: monster horror
viewing setting: home DVD, 6/30/17

synopsis: In a small coastal town, toxic sludge causes sharks to appear and gather in large packs.

impressions: This was a TV movie, and a long one, clocking in at 2.5 hours. It took 12 minutes to achieve the first kill, but then it had plenty...almost too many. What I mean is that they were random and often seemed thrown in there's a scene with a bunch of people talking in a bar, then a scene with a scuba diver getting eaten, then it's back to the bar. Who was that scuba diver? What was he or she doing down in the water at night? You'll never find out. Another thing: you can't show people standing in knee-deep water, then show a pack of sharks in 50+ foot deep water, then show the people getting attacked and killed. Inconsistency! There was also some funky science (a computer than can access satellites and track shark swarms due to excess phosphorus they consumed, ray guns that drive sharks away) and funny lines (a kid afraid to go in the water, after his parents survive and run onto shore, looks them in the eye and says "I told you so.") Still, this was one of three movies that I got for like $5 total, and there was a solid plot and plenty of characters, so I can't complain.

shark-inflicted body count: 27 verified + 7 more probables

acting: This movie had a lot of stars (and a couple of people who looked like other people who were stars!) John Schneider was the tempermental but competent fisherman brother. Daryl Hannah was his wife. F. Murray Abraham was a marine scientist/professor. Armand Assante was the mumbling businessman and head bad guy. John Enos was his evil henchman. Some kid who I can't find in the credits (but who kind of looks like a young Jan-Michael Vincent) was a surfer dude who helped the fisherman's cute daughter. Roark Critchlow (who kind of looks like Kiefer Sutherland) was the fisherman's marine professor brother. Heather McComb was the EPA inspector who falls for him.

final word: Entertaining, if not perfect.

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