Velocipastor

Carol: "I don’t know much about God."
Pastor Doug: "I don’t know much about dinosaurs."

release year: 2018
genre: comedy/monster/drama
viewing setting: home DVD 12/28/21

synopsis: A pastor in crisis journeys to China, accidentally gets a magic dinisaur tooth and its curse, and then gains the ability to transform into a velociraptor in times of stress.

impressions: This was an intentional bad movie, I suspect, much like Machete but with less money and no stars. Nevertheless, it was as funny as it was silly. Some highlights: words on the screen in place of an explosion and the necessary special effects, really bad velociraptor effects/costume, evil ninjas, pointless prolonged laughter between the evil ninja master and his right-hand-man.

acting: Greg Cohan is the young priest, and plays it seriously. Alyssa Kempinski is the girl he meets and helps and falls for. Daniel Steere is the older priest and mentor. Fernando Pacheco De Castro is a ridiculous pimp. Jiechang Yang is the main ninja bad guy leader, and JEsse Turits is his right-hand man.

final word: Somewhat entertaining low-budget bad movie..

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