Wrestlemania XIV

release year: 1998
genre: vintage wrestling pay-per-view
viewing setting: home DVD, 10/28/12

synopsis: This fourteenth annual wrestling mega-event was solid through and through, with a number of great matches.

where it happened: Boston

impressions: As always, I won't go into great detail, but just mention the highlights: a 15-tag-team battle royal to kick things off...the return of the Legion of Doom!...edited-out "WWF" logos everywhere...small acrobatic guys match...Gennifer Flowers interviewing the Rock, who refers to himself in the third person...the first DX crotch crop on a Wrestlemania...Commissioner Slaughter handcuffed to Chyna to keep her from interfering, though it doesn't work after she throws white powder into Slaughter's face...Marc Mero and Sable vs Goldust and Luna, which included some pretty good fighting by the females as well as a wardrobe malfunction...The Rock vs Ken Shamrock, which is won by submission, but then Shamrock goes berserk and keeps attacking the fallen Rock, which gets him disqualified, which makes him even more berserk and he starts beating the crap out of everybody...a crazy, brutal dumpster match between Cactus Jack and Terry Funk vs the New Age Outlaws...forklift involvement to trap the Outlaws in another dumpster...guest announcer Pete Rose insulting the Boston crowd before getting a tombstone piledriver courtesy of Kane...the demise of the Spanish commentators' table thanks to Kane and the Undertaker...Paul Bearer getting involved in the match both during and after...Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Shawn Michaels, with Mike Tyson as the enforcer and also Triple H and Chyna in Michaels' corner...a crappy band playing crappy intro music for Degeneration X and Michaels...Michaels prancing around the ring taunting Austin, until Austin finally hits him with a big clothesline...Michael's tights getting pulled down so he can moon everyone (which happened in a much earlier WM, #8 I think.) Michaels wrestled this match with a major back injury and was subsequently out of action for over four years. It's a wonder that he was even able to complete the match, as he was in obvious pain for most of it.

special note: Mike Tyson had a good old time before the match, carrying on and acting like a fool - something that he's very good at. It wouldn't surprise me to learn that he thought this was all really happening.

fun quote #1: Jerry Lawler: "Jim Cornett at ringside, you'd better watch out - flying bodies are everywhere!"

fun quote #2: Jim Ross: "Look at the dents in those buckets!"
Jerry Lawler: "Look at the dents in the heads of LOD!"

fun quote #3: Jerry Lawler: "I'm telling you, that's what happens with all these big high-risk maneuvers...you miss one, you're history! It's like if at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! Same thing with these kind of moves."

fun quote #4: Jerry Lawler: "I like Chyna's handcuffs better but I think she probably uses hers for something different."

fun quote #5: Jerry Lawler: "And now she has been neutralized...or so we hope."

fun quote #6: Jerry Lawler: "Owen Hart doesn't know the meaning of the word fear...but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words."

fun quote #7: Jim Ross: "She needs no motivation to assault a human being."

fun quote #8: Jim Ross: "The officials have got to calm down this animal...Shamrock gets in that zone, and there's nobody like him hen that happens."

fun quote #9: Jim Ross: "Shamrock is like a caged, rabid animal.....Look at his eyes! Look at his face! Does he know where he is? Does he know what he's done?"

fun quote #10: Jerry Lawler: "Ordinarily people live and learn...Funk just lives."

fun quote #11: Jim Ross: "Can you believe Terry Funk competed at Wrestlemania 2?"
Jerry Lawler: "He's a wrestler for the ages, all right...ages 60 to 70!"

fun quote #12: Jim Ross: "Well, if this one goes extra innings, Pete Rose is not gonna be here to see it."

fun quote #13: Jim Ross: "Paul Bearer warned the Undertaker that Kane's powers were greater...now he's living that nightmare!"

fun quote #14: Jim Ross: "And Kane...relentless! He's a madman...he's an obsessed human being...with hellacious power!"

fun quote #15: Jim Ross: "I've seen wars between smaller countries with less intensity than this!"

final word: This one was great - it had no crappy matches, and several that were outstanding.

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