release year: 2003
genre: vintage wrestling pay-per-view
viewing setting: home DVD, 1/6/17
synopsis: This nineteenth annual wrestling mega-event was the 2003 edition, and featured a number of big matches, to the point where some superstars had their matches in the part before the actual pay-per-view started.
where it happened: Seattle
impressions: As always, I won't go into great detail, but just mention the highlights: this was the first "WWE" Wrestlemania, so they didn't have to cover all the "WWF" logos...dual announcing teams of Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler and Tazz/Michael Cole, this because there are now separate Raw and Smackdown sub-brands within the company...Rey Mysterio's Wrestlemania debut with a lot of flipping and flying...Matt Hardy's "Matt Facts" popping up on the TV screen...a lame Limp Bizkit song...a big guys match with Undertaker, Big Show, Nathan Jones, and A-Train...some inane sub-plot involving a bunch of scantily-dressed women...a three-person womens' match that was actually pretty good and athletic...a triple tag-team match...a pouting Chris Jericho taking on his former idol Shawn Michaels in another great athletic match with lots of impressive moves...all of the catfight women teaming up to attack announcer Coach, which was lame...a constantly-grunting Booker T vs evil Triple H...Hulk Hogan vs Vince McMahon in a bloody street fight...the Rock vs Steve Austin in what ended up being Austin's last match...a Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar match that really showcased both mens' amateur wrestling experience. I want to make a clear and loud note about something great from this and past Wrestlemanias: the Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler duo is one of the best commentator teams ever. They work well with each other and have a lot of genuinely funny discussions, examples of which you can see below.
fun quote #1:
Michael Cole: "The 500-pounder, drilling the Undertaker, back first into the steel post!"
Tazz: "There is no give in that steel post. I don't care how big you are, that post ain't moving."
fun quote #2:
Michael Cole: "A reverse of the abdominal stretch! The Undertaker has turned the tables on the A-Train!"
Tazz: "The A-Train's got one hairy abdominal area."
fun quote #3:
Jim Ross: "King, you've gotta love those catfight girls, don't you?"
Jerry Lawler: "Ohhh, my God. This may be the greatest Wrestlemania ever, J.R. Did you see that? The Miller Lite catfight girls...and Torrie and Stacy! I think they're on their way out here. Whoo!"
fun quote #4:
Jim Ross: "You know, King, I don't think Sigmund Freud could figure out this pairing. These two certainly poster children for psychiatric care. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
fun quote #5:
Jim Ross: "Victoria, eliminating Trish from this three-way equation."
Jerry Lawler: "Oh, I like that. I've often wondered if maybe a triple threat match could turn into a love triangle."
Jim Ross: "I'm sure you have."
fun quote #6:
Jim Ross: "Jericho saying that he's better than Michaels...I don't know if he's trying to convince Michaels, or himself."
Jerry Lawler: "I know. Believe me, Jericho believes it."
fun quote #7:
Jim Ross: "Is impersonation the most sincere form of flattery?"
Jerry Lawler: "Well, not when you can do it better than the original...sweet chin music! Oh, look out!"
fun quote #8:
Jerry Lawler: "Oh yes! Is that your favorite catfight girl, J.R. ?"
Jim Ross: "Well, I'd need to think about that a while."
fun quote #9:
Jerry Lawler: "Oh, baby, J.R....there she is!"
Jim Ross: (mumbles something about legs)
Jerry Lawler: "And that ain't all. Almost six feet tall, J.R., and well worth the climb!"
fun quote #10:
Jerry Lawler: "I'd hang out with Booker T...we went to the mall yesterday, and he tried to pay for everything with cigarettes."
fun quote #11:
Jerry Lawler: "Wait, wait, wait...let's get the camera on...please keep the camera on Triple H."
Jim Ross: "Now you want to direct. You wanna be Triple-H's fan club, you're Naitch's best buddy, and now you want to be a director."
Jerry Lawler: "It's Wrestlemania, J.R. Did you see what-"
Jim Ross: "And you've told me six times, in this match, that we're at Wrestlemania."
Jerry Lawler: "19."
fun quote #12:
Jim Ross: "Booker T!"
Jerry Lawler: "He landed right on Triple H's head! It crushed his skull!"
Jim Ross: "Booker T went for everything he had! Completely out of desperation, with that left...that left knee may be completely...completely ripped and torn!"
Jerry Lawler: "Why are you worried about his knee, when he landed right on Triple H's head?!?"
fun quote #13:
Jim Ross: "Triple H is vulnerable right here and now. Can Booker T capitalize?"
Jerry Lawler: "No. He can't. Look at that, leg just gave way. Come on, Triple H...can YOU capitalize?"
fun quote #14:
Michael Cole: "Mr. McMahon has been busted open, a steel chair to the head. And Hogan, doing what Mr. McMahon did to him ten days ago!"
Tazz: "These people love it."
Michael Cole: "I don't think anybody in the world likes Mr. McMahon."
Tazz: "I do."
Michael Cole: "But...you know..."
Tazz: "The billion dollar blood pouring down the face of Mr. McMahon."
fun quote #15:
(crowd): "Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!"
Michael Cole: "My sentiments exactly! I agree with Seattle!"
fun quote #16:
Michael Cole: "Hugo...he's busted open."
Tazz: "Well...hasta la vista, amigo."
fun quote #17:
Tazz: "If you can't beat a man by jumping off a ladder with a leg drop through a table, what the hell's McMahon gonna do to beat Hogan?"
Michael Cole: "Look at the look in the eyes of McMahon. The brain is turning. McMahon is thinking of his next move."
fun quote #18:
Michael Cole: "The evil look has changed to a look of frustration now for Mr. McMahon."
fun quote #19:
Jim Ross: "And the Rock is not singing songs-"
Jerry Lawler: "They were great, though."
Jim Ross: "He's not here to entertain us, as he does in a Hollywood epic."
Jerry Lawler: "Movies are great too, you know."
Jim Ross: "I can't deny that. But this is Wrestlemania."
fun quote #20:
Jim Ross: "Stone Cold, with those cold blue eyes, sending the Rock for the ride right through hell, ending in the steel steps!"
Jerry Lawler: "The Rattlesnake is showing no respect whatsoever for the Scorpion King!"
fun quote #21:
Jim Ross: "And you can see Austin wearing two knee braces, he's had a history in his career of knee problems."
Jerry Lawler: "And I don't know if those things are exactly legal...those things are made out of metal, they could be used as a weapon!"
Jim Ross: "What the hell would you make a knee brace out of? Cotton candy? Plastic?"
fun quote #22:
Jim Ross: "I think our cameraman's down…our cameraman's down...we've lost Hugo Savinovich in that violent street fight with McMahon and Hogan, in that bloodbath...tables were destroyed...bodies have been destroyed..."
Jerry Lawler: "Cause it's Wrestlemania! That's what happens at Wrestlemania! That's why Wrestlemania is so great!"
fun quote #23:
Jim Ross: "The Rock's trying on Stone Cold Steve Austin's vest!"
Jerry Lawler: "Everything looks good on the Rock."
fun quote #24:
Jerry Lawler: "0h, no...what?!?"
Jim Ross: "The Rock Bottom!"
Jerry Lawler: "You can't do that to the Rock!"
Jim Ross: "Austin just used the Rock Bottom...on the Rock himself!"
Jerry Lawler: "Oh, no. This is bad."
fun quote #25:
Jerry Lawler: "Oh, look at this. Look at the Rattlesnake."
Jim Ross: "Look at that intensity."
Jerry Lawler: "Just like snake eyes."
Jim Ross: "Inside that body beats the heart of an animal. A wrestling animal."
fun quote #26:
Jim Ross: "The Rock Bottom on Austin. It's over. The Rock- No it's not! My God, it's not over!"
fun quote #27:
Jerry Lawler: "Stay down on the mat, Austin...you'll have a shorter distance to fall after you get this Rock Bottom!"
final word: Pretty good one, with 4-5 big-name matches to finish it off.
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