2025 Armageddon

official: "Let me get this straight. We're under attack by mutant fish, wildlife, and Skynet?"
soldier: "At the same time?"
President: "Why not just pick one?"

release year: 2022
genre: giant monster horror/action
viewing setting: home streaming 8/16/26

synopsis: Aliens somehow think that the Asylum movies were all historical documentaries, and use that information to inform their plans to attack and take over Earth.

impressions: This film poked fun at the Asylum company and their body of work, but was really just a way to have giant sharks, piranhas, crocodiles, snakes, robots, and so on all in the same movie (and sometimes fighting one another.) Hell, even the six-headed shark made an appearance...as did a Sharknado. Holy crap, but there was a lot going on here. Some other aspects to be found here included: a surplus of sisterly drama, aliens, zombies (!), zoo animals on the loose, body shatchers, a new hybrid monster, stupidity with the person who stowed away in the UFO, a completely nonsensical and unexplained ending which from what I could tell involved a tornado that sucked up all the monsters and aliens and then routed them into a black hole that formed, ate them all, and then disappeared. No, I'm not making this up (although the film's writers did.)

acting: Jhey Castles was fairly serious as the aggressive, military sister. Lindsey Marie Wilson was her more scientist-y sibling. Michael Pare was their father, a high-level politician who suddenly found himself the President. Several other Asylum regulars had roles, including tough guy Paul Logan (who unfortunately doesn't get to last long, unlike the old days when he'd carry the entire movie.) Also of note, there were clones of actor Geoffrey Lewis and rapper Common.

final word: As others have suggested, this is basically the Avengers: Endgame of the Asylum world.

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