The Anacondas

release year: 2025
genre: giant jungle monster mayhem
viewing setting: home streaming 6/28/26

synopsis: Some vaguely-detailed expedition into the depths of the jungle results in a pair of giant, possibly-mythical snakes being awakened.

impressions: Lots of darkness...mumbled dialogue...idiotic lines...stupid characters...this was not a top-notch giant snake movie. And I didn't expect one. The nature of the bigger snakes was never clearly defined, which is also okay. I think the aspect I disliked the most was all the poor decisions made by various characters, although I won't dignify that statement with examples.

confirmed body count: 7 humans, 2 small snakes, 1 huge anaconda

acting: Honestly (and this is not meant as an insult to the actors and actresses) most of them blended together due to the poor lighting and their short lifespans. Plus most of the lines from most of them were just badly-written. Danielle Titus was the main archaeologist in charge of the group. Hannah Hueston was her sidekick, who had a tendency to freeze up during stressful situations. Maureen Kedes was some sort of VIP who didn't belong in the jungle and didn't understand the dangers of the situation. Brian Russell was an old ex-Indiana-Jones type who ended up helping. Brian Russell was the local guide who didn't say much, and when he did speak said weird things.

final word: Second-tier giant snake movie - worth seeing once after you've already watched the Hollywood anaconda movies.

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