6-Headed Shark Attack
"That thing has six heads. We have eight heads. We can outsmart it."
"Is that your reasoning?!?"
release year: 2018
genre: shark horror/action/comedy
viewing setting: home DVD, 8/31/21
synopsis: A six-headed shark terrorizes an island self-help place and its customers.
impressions: At least they took the shark head off of the tail for this entry. That may have been the only thing they did right. It seemed like half this movie was people either swimming from boats to shore, or swimming from shore to boats. Overall, this one had a low body count, especially given the increased number of heads. Yep, I am positing that as the number of shark heads goes up, so should the body count. Other notable elements here: an origin story to explain why the shark has multiple heads, the most unwilling couples self-help participants ever, a woman swimming right into a floating body part and later puking all over someone else, more than one character just losing their mind, the shark eating one of its own heads, the variable-shark-size problem, a thunderstorm that changes the survivors' plans but then never happens, shark heads regenerating at full size, hippies, the shark WALKING ON DRY LAND by using some of its heads as limbs, dramatic musical effects, the shark making a vortex to sink a boat, sniper action, the shark biting off a dead head and hurling it up into the air as a missile, the shortest night ever, yet another idiotic final plan to kill the shark, blown-off shark heads snapping at each other.
confirmed shark kills: 10 (plus one taken out by a severed shark head hurled at a lighthouse)
acting: For this one, they recycled the actors who played the main guy from Planet of the Sharks and the right-hand bad guy from Empire of the Sharks plus added in a variety of walking, talking shark food. Many of these characters had serious quirks or other issues.
final word: They didn't up the bar for this one, and that made me sad. Entertaining, yet moronic.
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