Crackoon


"It's all cracked out on drugs and it's out of its mind!"    - Frankie


release year: 2024
genre: wild animal horror
viewing setting: home streaming 10/26/25

synopsis: A wild raccoon stumbles upon a large amount of some weird new type of crack, eats it, and becomes a furry little killing machine..

impressions: This was a low-budget production by a company I'd never heard of. While clearly inspired by Cocaine Bear, they didn't have the budget or the stars...but what they DID have, I strongly suspect, was a hell of a lot of fun making this movie. Some highlights: weird orange crack...some lengthy conversations to establish different peoples' personalities...almost all characters were tattooed twenty-somethings with a taste for the wild life...22 minutes for the raccoon to appear (pre-transformation)...one guy whose style of speech kept changing...a few instances of CGI instead of practical killer-raccoon effects...the raccoon growling loudly like a monster at times...the first time I can recall where a movie clearly showed the output of a bathroom trip...a number of clever references to other movies...a corpse randomly farting. While the acting wasn't stellar, it wasn't that bad either - I felt like I understood the personalities of all the characters. I think the people who made this just said "fuck it, let's introduce as many weird quirky characters as possible, before we have the raccoon kill them all off." They also didn't come up short in the blood/gore and nudity departments. All in all, this was a very entertaining low-budget killer animal movie.

body count: 17 confirmed kills for the crackoon, plus an indeterminate number of others during a rather poorly-filmed attack on a group of people praying in the woods, plus 2 others not killed by the raccoon (for posterity, those last two were a shotgun blast to the head and a bear trap to the head)

acting: There's a lot I could say, but I just want to give a shoutout to Chris O'Brocki, who played the single funniest character in this movie. At first he was annoying, but he quickly won me over with his one-liners in absurd situations. Well played, sir.

final word: This is the most fun you can possibly have when your key plot elements are a raccoon and a bag of super-drugs.

back to the main review page