Virus Shark

   "What the bloody hell is that?"
   "It's the virus shark!"
   "What drives that demon animal?"

release year: 2021
genre: shark cheese
viewing setting: home DVD, 9/10/21

synopsis: In a clever spoof of current events, the world is coming to an end thanks to a horrible virus that started with a shark bite, and a small team in an undersea lab attempt to find a cure.

impressions: Great idea, but when that idea is put to film by the same people who gave us Sharkenstein, Raiders of the Lost Shark, and Shark Exorcist....even those who love bad movies will be disappointed. This is a BAD bad movie. It mixes stock footage of sharks, CGI sharks, and what look like paper-mache sharks. The pump room of the underwater facility looks like someone's mechanical room. The lines are bad, and the delivery of them is worse. The sharks growl underwater (although they don't fly...but to be fair, they had no opportunity to fly in this one, so who knows?) Most of the underwater facility actually looks like someone's high school. The shark pool looked like a YMCA pool or something. Other notable things: a corpse that emits a lethal orange glob of jello, random science babbling, zombies, milk crates in the escape pod, a character actually asking a corpse for help, a radical change in direction after the action leaves the undersea lab, weird aggressive survivors, "marauders" who are wearing cheap monster masks and robes, a lethal shark attack taking place in knee-deep water, a submarine with a fence, a completely pointless ending scene that invalidates all that came before.

acting: This has some people from other movies by this crew: Ken Van Sant as the hulking security guy, and the random soldier who appears near the end. The main lady tries, but her lines are both badly-written and flatly-delivered.

final word: About halfway through the movie, I found myself thinking that it had been a really long time since I wanted a movie to just be over.

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